I'm just a selfish ghost
by DanceInPurpleRain
Summary: My name is Carly Shay and I've done something horrible. I've ruined both of my best friends life's. And all I wanted was to tell a guy that I'm in love with him. The worst part? I did all of this after I died. So now all I am is a selfish ghost. Seddie.
1. prologue

**I'm just a selfish ghost**

**Okay so this is my second story and don't worry I'm not going to stop "The mystery of Sam Puckett" I just the idea for this for awhile and I just couldn't not write this. This story may seem like Creddie at first but trust me it is definitely Seddie. **

**Full summary: **_**Carly dies and becomes a ghost. She comes back with a mission: to tell Freddie that she loves him. But just as she's about to show herself to him and tell him she learns that Freddie is in love with Sam. So Carly decides to stop Sam and Freddie from even being friends. So Freddie and Sam would never become a couple. But as Carly puts her plan into action Sam starts to change for worse and Freddie seems more miserable then he's ever been. Will Carly realize how much she is hurting her friends before it's too late? Seddie :) **_

**Chapter 1: Prologue**

**Carly's pov:**

"Carls, I watched you die. I was at your funeral. And now you... you come to my house in the middle of the night looking all... alive. And tell me that... you're the reason Freddie and I aren't friends anymore? That you're the one who made my life miserable?" She asks me horrified. I look down ashamed.

"I'm sorry" Is all I can say. I know that she deserves more than a stupid apology but I don't know what else to do. What else to say. What can you say in a situation like this? I finally get courage to keep talking.

"You have no idea how much I hate myself for what I did" I whisper avoiding her eyes because I know that in those eyes I will only see hatred towards me. Even if I do deserve it I'm still to much of a coward to face it.

"Well you have no idea how much I hate **you**" She whispers harshly. I already knew that she would hate me but hearing her say those words breaks my heart even more.

"I'm sorry, I'm just so, so sorry" I whisper again but this time lewder and on the verge of tears. And for the first time since we started talking I look at her eyes. Those blue eyes that lost the shine they had all because of me. See I did something horrible. I practically ruined my best friends life. I didn't just ruin her only chance of true love but I also took the only real friend she still hade away from her. And all I wanted to do was tell a guy that I'm in love with him. You know what's even more messed up? I did all of this after I died. A selfish ghost that's what I am. So I'm about to tell you a story full of stupid and selfish decisions, hurt and somewhere along the way- love. This is going to be one long story.

**Since I already have another story I'm not sure if I'm going to continue this. It really depends on how much reviews I get. If a lot of people will like this story then I'll try to update the next chapter tomorrow. Okay so what else can I say? Please review? **


	2. I die

**I'm just a selfish ghost**

**I know that I didn't update this in like forever, sorry about that. I'll try to update the next chapter sooner. This chapter will probably look like Creddie but I have to make it like that for the story to work. The next chapters will have a lot of Seddie in it.**

**Full summary: **_**Carly dies and becomes a ghost. She comes back with a mission: to tell Freddie that she loves him. But just as she's about to show herself to him and tell him she learns that Freddie is in love with Sam. So Carly decides to stop Sam and Freddie from even being friends. So Freddie and Sam would never become a couple. But as Carly puts her plan into action Sam starts to change for worse and Freddie seems more miserable then he's ever been. Will Carly realize how much she is hurting her friends before it's too late? Seddie :) **_

"_And all I wanted to do was tell a guy that I'm in love with him. You know what's even more messed up? I did all of this after I died. A selfish ghost that's what I am. So I'm about to tell you a story full of stupid and selfish decisions, hurt and somewhere along the way- love. This is going to be one long story."_

_My story starts two months ago, the day I died. It's a really unusual way to start a story, and trust me that is not a day I want to remember but that's where it all started. So here it is-_

**Chapter 2: I die**

****Two months ago****

**Carly's pov:**

The day started like any other day. Me, Sam and Freddie went to school, Sam got detention for hurting a teacher, Freddie got an A. Now we're walking home from school.

"So seriously, I'm just so glad that it's Friday cause I am just so sick of school." Sam says.

"You always are." Freddie says.

"It's not my fault that school is so boring." Sam says.

"Hey, Carly are you okay? You seem kind of out of it." Freddie asks.

"Yeah, I'm just thinking." I say.

"About?" Sam asks.

"Just... school." I lie. The truth is that lately It's been really hard for me to concentrate on anything. My thoughts always seems to come back to one person. Freddie Benson. I'm really confused with my feelings towards him. I think that I kind of... like him. Those mixed feelings started a month ago then this girl asked him out.

**_Flashback**_

Me, Freddie and Sam are sitting in the Groovy Smoothie planning next weeks ICarly. This girl walks up to us. She has long brown hair, a lot of make up and she's wearing a skirt that looks to short even for me.

"Hey Freddie" She says.

"Hey." He says. I can see Sam giving her a death glare but it's probably just because she hates those kind of girls.

"My name is Brittany, we go to school together" She says. She doesn't even notice me and Sam! That's so rude.

"Oh, yeah hey Brittany." He says.

"Look I was wondering, would you want to go out with me?" She asks. I hate this girl, who does she think she is? Freddie loves me! ME! Wait where did that came from? It almost feels like I'm... jealous? Why would I be jealous? It's just Freddie.

"Sure." He say excited and I can feel my heart break. I'm not sure why I'm feeling this way. I can't like him right?

_**End flashback**_

They broke up a couple weeks ago and I know that it's wrong but I felt happy about it. Maybe I really do like him? This is just so confusing.

"Freddie!" We hear a voice behind us. We turn around and see Mrs. Benson running up to us.

"Mum, what are you doing here?" He asks.

"I found a new cloud burn cream." Mrs. Benson says.

"Mum" He groans and me and Sam start chuckling.

"Just go ahead of me, I'll catch up later." Freddie says.

"Okay." I say.

"His mum is horrible." Sam says laughing.

"I know." I say. We start walking across the street and without even realizing it I look back at Freddie. He's just so adorable.

"Why do you keep staring at him? Do you like him or something?" Sam asks.

"What? I... No... uh... maybe." I say honestly.

"Really?" Sam asks.

"Yeah I..." I say but get cut off.

"Carly!" Sam screams looking at something behind me. I turn around and see a huge truck coming straight at me and Sam. I'm frozen and It's like everything slowed down.

"Look out!" I hear Freddie yell. Then I hear footsteps running my and Sam's way. Then the next thing I know I'm on the ground. My head hurts and I'm to weak to even move. I open my eyes and see people around me screaming and checking if I'm alive. I look to my side and see Sam and Freddie sitting on the ground a couple feet away looking at me with wide eyes. Sam's sitting in his lap and his hands are around her waste. Then I realize something, he saved Sam and not me. Sam quickly gets up and kneels in front of me. She's saying something to me but I don't understand a word. I just turn everything out. I don't even feel pain anymore, I just feel calm, and at the same time scared. I don't want to die. There's so much that I still didn't do. The last thought that goes in my head is I never got to tell him how I feel. Then everything goes black.

_So that's how it happened__, and if for most people death is the end, for me it's a new beginning. A new beginning that I never even wanted._

**I hope you like the chapter, and you should know that I always write when the next chapter will be up in my profile and I also write some side notes so check it out if you're interested. Here is a list of people I want to thank: ****StudentofDust for a story alert a favorite story and a review, IzzyRoxUrSox14 for a story alert a favorite story and a review, SeddieWarriorForever for a story alert, DannySamLover20 for a favorite story a story alert and a review, isinkintohearts for a story alert, LyshaLuvsSeddie for a story alert a favorite story and a review, Priincess Starlight for a story alert and a review, tokokizora for a story alert and a favorite story, Channylover08 for a story alert, Rosalinasam2 for a review, seddie for a review, billiegrace for a review. Thank you all so much. So review and tell me what you think :)**


	3. I come back

**I'm just a selfish ghost**

**I updated just like I promised, and writing was a good distraction for me from thinking about iLove you, but seriously I am just so excited for it. :)**

**Full summary: **_**Carly dies and becomes a ghost. She comes back with a mission: to tell Freddie that she loves him. But just as she's about to show herself to him and tell him she learns that Freddie is in love with Sam. So Carly decides to stop Sam and Freddie from even being friends. So Freddie and Sam would never become a couple. But as Carly puts her plan into action Sam starts to change for worse and Freddie seems more miserable then he's ever been. Will Carly realize how much she is hurting her friends before it's too late? Seddie :) **_

"_I just turn everything out. I don't even feel pain anymore, I just feel calm, and at the same time scared. I don't want to die. There's so much that I still didn't do. The last thought that goes in my head is I never got to tell him how I feel. Then everything goes black."_

_From then everything only went worse. And apparently I wasn't the only one with problems. _

**Chapter 3: I come back**

**Carly's pov:**

The first thing I notice then I wake up is the grass, why am I laying on the grass? The last thing I remember is passing out after getting hit by that truck. I feel the ground under me with my hands some more and yeah that is definitely grass. I'm too scared to open my eyes so I'm not sure where I am. You ask why I'm scared? Well it's because then I was laying on that cold ground half unconscious It didn't really feel like I was going to make it. And I'm pretty sure that I'm not in a hospital because I'm laying on the grass. So I guess I'm just scared of what I'll see then I do look around. Okay I have to do this. I take a deep breath and slowly open my eyes. The first thing I see is the blue sky. But that sky kind of scares me because it's not normal kind of sky... there isn't even one cloud, or bird or even the sun, It's just... sky. I slowly sit up and my eyes widen at what I see. All that's around me is just grass and sky... No trees, no people or animals... or even bugs. But it's kind of... beautiful... and calm.

"Hello Carly." A voice behind me makes me jump up a little bit. I look behind me and see a woman sitting on the grass next to me. She has long brown hair and brown eyes. She's wearing a long green dress. Was she there before? I didn't see her. I take a better look at her and my eyes widen then I realize who she is.

"Mom?" I ask quietly. She smiles at me but doesn't say anything back.

"Mom!" I yell and hug her tighly.

"I missed you Carly." She says.

"I missed you too." I say. I can't believe that she's actually here. But wait... my mom died then I was five. So if she's dead and I'm with her right now does that mean...?

"Am I dead?" I ask and let go of her.

"Yes." She says. I'm dead...

"Are we in heaven?" I ask.

"No." She answers. If where not in heaven then where?

"Then where are we?" I ask.

"This is the place between live and death. Heaven and earth." She says.

"If whe're dead then why are we here?" I ask.

"I'm here to talk to you, and you're here because you have to prove yourself." She says. Prove myself?

"Why? And how?" I ask.

"Because **he **has to know if your worth to go to heaven." She says.

"Who's he?" I ask.

"You'll find out later." She says.

"But what am I supposed to do?" I ask.

"You will be sent back to earth. Humans will see you then you'll want them to see you. And what you'll do... well that's up to you. You can do whatever you want but be careful because **he** will be watching you... you'll only have three months. If after those three months **he **will think that you're worth it, you will be sent to heaven." She says.

"And what if he thinks that I'm not?" I ask fearing the answer.

"You will be stuck." She says sadly.

"What does the mean?" I ask.

"You will have to live on earth but nobody will see or hear you, you'll be alone... forever." She says.

"Isn't that a bit cruel?" I ask.

"It is. But it's just how this world works." She says.

"So what now?" I ask.

"Now you'll go back to earth. It's been a week since you died." She says.

"Really?" I ask.

"Yeah. Good luck... you'll need it." She says, then everything goes black.

* * *

><p>I slowly open my eyes and I see the sky. But this sky is normal. I quickly sit up and look around. I'm in the cemetery. This is so freaky. I look at the stone in front of me and my eyes widen.<p>

CARLOTTA SHAY

July 24, 1994 – August 19, 2011

Oh my god.

**Freddie's pov:**

"SAM COME ON, DON'T DO THIS TO YOUR SELF!" I shout knocking on her door. But all I get for an answer is the loud music coming out of her room.

"_Don't wanna hear your sad songs_

_I don't wanna feel your pain_

_When you swear it's all my fault_

_'Cause you know we're not the same_

_No, we're not the same, oh, we're not the same"_

Ever since Carlys funeral she refuses to come out of her room or even let anyone in. She's been locked up in her room listening to music so loud that you can here it down the street.

"SAM PLEASE!" I shout again.

"_We're the friends who stuck together_

_We wrote our names in blood_

_But I guess you can't accept that the change is good_

_It's good, it's good"_

"JUST GO AWAY!" Sam shouts back. She's been taking this hard. It hasn't been easy for me either but I try to focus on not losing Sam too.

"_You treat me just like another stranger_

_Well, it's nice to meet you, sir_

_I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out_

_Ignorance is your new best friend_

_Ignorance is your new best friend"_

"JUST OPEN THE DOOR SO WE CAN TALK!" I shout.

"NO, JUST GO!" She shouts.

"Just go home, it's late maybe she'll feel better tomorrow." Her mom says walking past me. She's right, besides my mom will start worrying if I won't get home soon.

"_This is the best thing that could've happened_

_Any longer and I wouldn't have made it_

_It's not a war, no, it's not a rapture_

_I'm just a person but you can't take it"_

"SAM I'M GOING HOME BUT I'LL COME BACK TOMORROW!" I shout so she would here me over this music. She doesn't answer so I just sigh and start walking away.

"_Don't wanna hear your sad songs_

_I don't wanna feel your pain_

_When you swear it's all my fault_

_'Cause you know we're not the same_

_No, we're not the same, oh, we're not the same"_

I hear her music as I'm walking out of the house. I'm not going to lose her, she's all I have left.

_Maybe if I would have seen how much Sam was hurting over my death I wouldn't have done what I was about to do._

**The song that Sam was listening to was Ignorance by Paramore. Okay so I hope you liked it and here is the list of people I want to thank: ****Anti-Creddie All Seddie for a favorite story and a story alert, minaxcruz for a story alert, loveforever0423 for a review, IzzyRoxUrSox14 for a review a favorite story and a story alert, DannySamLover20 for a review, LyshaLuvsSeddie for a review, freindliy for a story alert. Thanks, I'm glad that you like my story. So please review? :)**


	4. I think of a plan

**I'm just a selfish ghost**

**At first I was going to write this chapter the next weakened but since I got so much reviews I decided to update today. Oh and I just have to say that I really didn't expect them to brake up in ILove you, I liked the episode but the ending wasn't what I expected.**

**Full summary: **_**Carly dies and becomes a ghost. She comes back with a mission: to tell Freddie that she loves him. But just as she's about to show herself to him and tell him she learns that Freddie is in love with Sam. So Carly decides to stop Sam and Freddie from even being friends. So Freddie and Sam would never become a couple. But as Carly puts her plan into action Sam starts to change for worse and Freddie seems more miserable then he's ever been. Will Carly realize how much she is hurting her friends before it's too late? Seddie :) **_

"_I hear her music as I'm walking out of the house. I'm not going to lose her, she's all I have left." _

_Things really took a turn for the worse then I found out how Freddie feels about Sam, and I was just so madly in love with him._

**Chapter 4****: I think of a plan**

**Carly's pov****:**

I quickly stand up and step back from the stone. I can't believe that this is really happening to me. I'm dead. Dead. I look at my stone again. Why did this have to happen to me? I have to get out of here. So I turn around and start running out of the cemetery. I keep running even then I'm out on the street. I'm not even sure how long I've been running now, maybe minutes, maybe hours. Suddenly I fell so tired that I just can't keep running, so I just let my self collapse on the ground. What am I suppose to do now? Where am I anyway? I stand up and look around. I'm in front of Sam's house. So I guess I'm going to go see how Sam is doing. As soon as I step into the house I hear loud music, but I don't pay attention to the lyrics I just keep going towards Sam's room. As soon as I'm standing in front of her door I realize that the music is coming from her room. Why is this music so loud? I step into the room and see that her room is a mess. It always was messy but not like this. It looks like a tornado blew past here. All of the pictures are all over the ground, and pretty much everything is all over the ground. The only things that look like they are supposed to look are her TV, her radio and her bed. And the music is so loud. I look at Sam and see that she is laying on her bed and looking at the ceiling with a dazed expression. Her eyes are red so she's obviously been crying.

"Sam?" I ask but then I remember that she can't see me. Maybe I have to wish that for her to see me or something like that. I look at my feet and see that I'm standing on something. I take it in my hands and see that it's a photo of me, Sam and Freddie. I take a better look at Freddie. The guy that I'm probably in love with. And I never got to tell him. Wait... maybe I still can. Mom said that humans will be able to see me if I'll want them to. I put the picture in my pocket and walk out of Sam's room. I have to tell him. So I start walking towards Bushwell plaza.

**Freddie's pov:**

"Hey Spencer." I say walking into his apartment.

"Hey." He says depressed. I hate seeing him so sad, but it's understandable, his little sister died.

"Did Sam come out of her room yet?" He asks. Just like me he's been focusing on Sam.

"No." I sigh.

"I hope that she'll be okay." Spencer says.

"Me too. I don't want to lose her too." I say sitting down next to him.

"I know. Look I know that this isn't the best time to ask this but... do you love Sam?" He asks looking at me.

"What?" I ask shocked.

"Well you saved her life, and you go over to her house everyday and try to make her feel better." He says.

"And that means that I'm in love with her?" I ask.

"It's possible. So tell me honestly. Are you in love with Sam Puckett?" He asks me.

"Yes." I sigh. I've been in love with her for awhile now, I just never had the courage to tell her.

"I knew it." Spencer says quietly with a little smile. This is the first time I saw him smile ever since Carly died, so it automatically makes me smile too.

"Anyway, I'm going to go home, It's been a long day." I say standing up.

"See you tomorrow." Spencer says.

**Carly's pov:**

I walk into my apartment looking for Freddie the I hear it.

"It's possible. So tell me honestly. Are you in love with Sam Puckett?" Spencer asks Freddie. What? Why would he ask him that? There's no way that Freddie would be in love with Sam, right?

"Yes." He answers. I can feel the tears starting to come out of my eyes. He's in love with her? But how? Why? How could I not see this. I quickly turn around and run out of the apartment and out of the building. As soon as I'm out I fall to the ground and start crying. I can't believe that I was so stupid. Here I am about to confess my love for him and he's in love with Sam. That's so unfair. I'm the one who's suffering, so how can he choose her? I can't let them get together and I don't care if I'm being selfish, I'm dead I can do what ever I want. I'll stop them from becoming a couple, I have to make them hate each over, that's the only way. But how? And then a plan comes to my mind.

"Perfect." I say with a smile.

**Sam's pov:**

_The truth never set me free_

_The truth never set me free_

_The truth never set me free_

_So i'll do it myself_

_You can't be too careful anymore_

_When all that is waiting for you_

_Won't come any closer_

_You've got to reach out_

_You can't be too careful anymore_

_When all that is waiting for you_

_Won't come any closer_

_You've got to reach out more_

_More_

_More_

_More, more_

The song ends and I wait for the next one. That's how I've been spending my time since Carly's funeral. Freddie comes everyday and tries to get me to come out of my room or at least let him in, but I never do. I realize that I'm trying to put up a wall between me and the rest of the world but I'm not sure what else to do. Carly was my best friend, she was like a sister to me and now I lost her. I just can't believe that she's really gone. I hate myself for being so week but at least as long as I stay here nobody will see me like this.

_The next song will __be played in the honor of the young web star Carly Shay who died a week ago._

I freeze then I hear the words come out of the radio. Music was supposed to help me forget about her not remind me of her. I know that for my own sake I should change the station before the song starts playing but I can't find it in me to do that, so I just wait and listen.

_I know, you see_

_Somehow the world will change for me_

_And be so wonderful_

Not this song... any song but this.

_Live life, breathe air_

_I know somehow we're gonna get there_

_And feel so wonderful_

I slowly sit up and look at the radio.

_I will make you change your *mind*_

_These things happen all the time_

_And it's all real_

_I'm telling you just how I feel_

I stand up and carefully kneel in front of the radio.

_So wake up the members of my nation_

_It's your time to be_

_There's no chance unless you take one_

_Everytime_

_Just see the brighter side of every situation_

_Somethings are meant to be_

_So give it your best and leave the rest to me_

I shakily put my hand on the off button, but no matter how hard I try I just can't make myself press it.

_I Know_

_This time_

_To raise the hand that draws the line_

_And be so wonderful_

_Golden sunshine_

_I know somehow it's going to be mine_

_And feel so wonderful_

I look at the ground and see a picture laying there. I take it and see that it's a picture of me and Carly.

_Show me what you can become_

_There's a dream in everyone_

_And it's all real_

_I'm telling you just how I feel_

I can't take it anymore, I throw the picture to the ground, stand up and for the first time since Carly's funeral run out of my room and out of the house. I keep running without even noticing where I'm running. Who was I kidding thinking that I can just forget about her? I finally stop running and look around. I'm in front of the doors of Bushwell plaza. Why did I run here? Maybe I should just go home? But for some reason I just don't want to be alone anymore. I want somebody to be there for me and tell me that It's going to be okay, that it's going to get better. So I go inside and start claiming up stairs.

* * *

><p>I take a deep breath and knock on his door. I know that it's late so I just hope that his crazy mom won't be here. The door opens and a sleepy Freddie Benson steps out of his apartment. He looks at me and his eyes go wide.<p>

"Sam?" He asks shocked. I can't blame him for being shocked since this is the first time I left my room in days. I don't answer, I just stare at him. At first I try to keep unemotional face because I don't want him to see how week I really am right now, but soon my eyes start to water and I start slightly shaking because I'm trying to stop myself from sobbing. He doesn't say anything, he just raps his arms around me and tightly holds me.

"It's going to be okay." He says and that's all that I need to hear.

_I never should have thought of that plan, I should have just let them be happy._

**The songs are Careful by Param****ore and Leave it all to me by Miranda Cosgrove. Now the amazing people that I want to thank: freindliy for a favorite story, purpleham138 for a favorite story a story alert and a review, VeVe2491 for a favorite story and a review, sonofafluffymuffin for a story alert and a review, Anti-Creddie All Seddie for a review, DannySamLover20 for a review, LyshaLuvsSeddie for a review, IzzyRoxUrSox14 for a review, minaxcruz for a review. Thank you so much. Please review and tell me what you think :)**


	5. It's just me and him

**I'm just a selfish ghost**

**This chapter is really short, but better then nothing right? It's more like a filler anyway. **

**Chapter ****5: ****It****'****s ****just ****me ****and ****him.**

**Sam****'****s ****POV:**

"Here you go." Freddie says and hands me a cup of tea.

"Thanks." I say. I'm sitting on the couch in his living room.

"So are you okay?" He asks sitting next to me. It's been about twenty minutes since I showed up here. Out of those twenty minutes I spent 15 crying.

"Yeah, I just..." I say.

"You just what?" He asks softly.

"I just... can't believe that she's really... gone." I say.

"Yeah me too." He says.

"I feel so weak and... and... hurt. She was like a sister to me, and now I lost her. I don't know what to do without her." I say looking down. I'm not sure why I'm opening up to him like that, but I have a feeling that I can trust him with this.

"It gets easier, but locking yourself in your room isn't going to help you get through this. Don't push yourself away from everybody okay?" He says.

"I'll try. I guess I just wanted to get away from everything, from the pain." I say looking at him.

"And it worked?" He asks looking back at me.

"For awhile, but then everything just came crashing down on me at once." I say. I can feel myself getting lost in his brown eyes, those deep... brown eyes. I can feel myself leaning towards him. What am I doing? He's leaning too. And then our lips meet and it's like suddenly nothing else really matters. It's just me and him.

**So yeah I know, super short but I really don't have time to write anything longer right now, okay so I hope you it and please review and tell me what you think.**


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